File photo used only for illustrative purpose
Obviously there’s a crazy amount of cool things that come with
being a girl but sometimes, the everyday monotony of dealing with life
gets a little overwhelming.
We’re a pretty complex gender and often fail to determine what
exactly we even want half of the time. But, given the number of things
we simultaneously juggle, can you blame us?
I’ve got a list as long as my arm, which I’ll refrain from boring
you with, but I’m sure most girls will nod in agreement at these simple
but spot-on situations.
So, sit back, grab a tissue if you’re on your lady cycle, resist
the urge to text back the assh*le if you’re having boy problems and
ditch the Instagram explore page for just a minute.
Because here, my friends, are the 10 things we hate most about being girls:
1. Hormones
Not only is it bad enough that Mother Nature makes us bleed for
five consecutive days, she also throws in stomach cramps and a backache
for fun. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there.
We also have these unpredictable chemical substances that decide to erupt without warning.
Common symptoms include feeling fat 24/7 and uncontrollably sobbing into a tub of ice cream for no apparent reason.
If you think you might be experiencing hormones, grab your best friend, a blanket and some serious comfort food.
2. Childbirth
While we have a secret love for periods because it means we’ve
avoided pregnancy for another month, when we finally do decide we’d like
a family, we have to push a small human being out of a small hole known
as a v**ina.
I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked, my lady hole didn’t look like a big enough exit.
I’m well aware of the power of pelvic bone expansion, but it genuinely makes us never want to have s*x again.
3. Boys
We like but we also sometimes hate them with every bone in our body.
I know there are some good eggs, but the majority of the time, it seems as though they’re few and far between.
We can’t seem to decide whether they actually just don’t ever think, or whether every move is calculated and intentional.
Whatever the rationale is behind it, we’re all kind of sick of the
modern-day dating attitude. If you want our attention and respect, don’t
be a man-hood.
4. UTIs
We don’t know how the hell cystitis was ever invented, but we do know that it hurts like hell.
The inflammation of the bladder certainly doesn’t sound healthy,
and it’s one of the most common lady problems with which we have to
deal.
The battle between desperately needing to wee, but knowing it will
feel like you’re pissing fire shouldn’t be a ramification of enjoying
s*x or not urinating five times a day. Thank God for cranberry juice.
5. Bitchy girls
This one’s a snore. We thought that when we left school, bitching
would subside and every girl on the planet would just cuddle and be
friends. But apparently, it’s not cool to smile, be polite to or
compliment other girls.
It’s not fun to constantly be met with resting bitch face 24/7, but
maybe us basic bitches with manners haven’t caught on to the let’s hate
every single girl who breathes trend yet.
6. Instagram explore page
Oh my God. Can we not? There are two real issues with this place.
First, it makes us depressed that we’re not skinny, tanned goddesses
with perfectly-winged eyeliner and eyebrows on fleek.
Second, when we subconsciously double tap, it’s always on the photo
that has about 12 likes and was posted by that girl you know, but don’t
really know, who now probably thinks you stalk her. It’s an addictive,
guilty pleasure we just can’t seem to kick.
7. Shaving
Boyfriend-less winters are fab because we can practically start a
fire with the friction, but when summer rolls around, (or adult
sleepovers, whatever tickles your fancy), it’s a whole different ball
game.
We’re not really sure if boys or general members of the public
really care, but we like to have, or at least pretend to have, a little
bit of pride in our appearances.
We’re still not really sure whether silky-smooth legs are worth the multiple razor cuts we endure.
8. Weight Gain
“Thinkin’ ’bout dat summer body, but also ’bout dem tacos” – sound familiar? We love to eat, but we also love to look good.
The struggle is real. We could eat everything in moderation, but
it’s much more fun to eat in excess and privately nurse a food baby
afterward.
A moment on the lips really is proving to be a lifetime on the
hips, which is made even more depressing when you realize it takes about
half an hour on the treadmill to burn off half a Mars bar.
Let’s just go back to the Insta explore page and cry into cake
because after all, it’s the things we love the most that hurt us the
most.
9. Breakouts
These really are the bane of our lives. They come when you’re on
your period, off your period, happy, sad or just generally breathing.
What’s more is that they have the power to make us feel like
absolute sh*t. There’s no way to have a positive attitude toward zits
and there’s certainly no way to embrace them.
We just have to use half a tube of concealer and a 2008 side fringe to try and cover them.
Note to self: Don’t ever tell someone she has food on her face — it’s probably a zit.
10. Overthinking
Overactive brains are probably the most common girl problem because
whatever we do, we just cannot stop thinking and it drives us crazy.
We go over every tiny detail in our heads and generate answers to questions we’ll probably never get asked.
We run through completely fictional scenarios and conjure up the
most kickass comebacks just because. Tip for any of you boys: If you ask
a girl what she’s thinking and she says nothing, run.
- Information Nigeria
